A Strange Period.
Insights into the Bizarre Experiences of Perimenopausal Women
by
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Table of Contents
AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS
When Hairy Met Saggy – Introduction
WTF?? – Defining Perimenopause
THEY JUST DON’T MAKE ‘EM LIKE THEY USED TO!
Par for the Course – Expected Physical Changes
- In the Heat of the Moment: Hot Flashes/Night Sweats
- Crazy Aunt Flo: Strange Periods
- Urine Then ‘Yer Out: Bladder
- Waisted Space: Stomach/Waist
- To Sleep, Perchance to Dream: Sleep
- What to Try: to Adjust to Typical Physical Changes You Aren’t Imagining It – Surprising Physical Changes
- Facing the Music: Face
- Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover: Skin
- Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder: Eyes
- Bosom Buddies: Breasts
- The Vagina Dialogues: Vagina
- What to Try: to Adjust to the Surprising Changes in Your Body
OMG!!!
You’ve Got to be Kidding Me! – Shocking Physical Changes
- Not by the Hair of My Chinny, Chin, Chin: Hair
- Turn the Other Cheek: Butt and Bowels
- Not Tonight, Honey: Headaches
- Ain’t No Body I Know: General Physical Changes
- What to Try: to Adjust to the Shocking Changes in Your Body To Hormone or Not to Hormone, That is the Question – Perimenopausal “Treatment”
- Doctor, Doctor, Give Me a Clue: Getting Medical Support
- You Can’t Always Get What You Want: Evaluating Your Choices
- Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe: Deciding What is Right for You
- What to Try: to Deal with Perimenopause Symptoms
MIND GAMES
Is There a Hole in My Head? – Your Perimenopausal Mind
- Remembering to Remember: Memory Problems
- 2+2 = ?: Processing Problems
- Who’s Minding the Store?: Perimenopause at Work
- Mooooood River, Wider Than a Mile: Mood Swings
- What to Try: to Cope When Feeling Like You’re Losing Your Mind Who Am I? Who, Who … Who, Who? – Your Perimenopausal Soul
- Somewhere in Time: Questions, Hopes, Fears, and Frustrations
- The Chicken or the Egg: Is it Age or Hormones?
- What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?: Exploring Options for a Different Stage of Life
- What to Try: to Feel Like Yourself Again
SEX SYMBOLS
Too Hot to Trot – Your Perimenopausal Sex Life
- What’s in it for Me?: Your Sex Drive
- Mind Over Matter: The Physical Aspects of Sex During Perimenopause
- It Takes 2 to Tango: Your Sexual Relationship
- What to Try: to Enhance Your Sex Life Looking at the World through Guy-Colored Glasses – Your Partner’s Perspective on Perimenopause
- Who Are You and What Have You Done With My Wife?: His Perspective on Your “Change”
- The Man in the Mirror: His Perspective on His “Change”
- What to Try: to Help Your Guy Understand What You’re Both Going Through
THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
It Ain’t Over ‘Till the Menopausal Lady Sings – Life After Perimenopause
- This is Your Brain on Menopause: The Mental Effects of Menopause
- Hasta La Vista, Baby: Your Body After Hormones
- What to Expect About Not Being Able to Expect: The Loss of Fertility
- Lost and Found: Your Post-Menopausal Sense of Self
Who Ya Gonna Call? – Resources
You Just Might Find, You Get What You Need – Index
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About the Book
Surprising, funny, and reassuring information about the subtle and not-so-subtle experiences that comprise the Journey from regular periods, to anything but regular periods, to the end of periods. Period. WARNING: This book is intended for hormonally-challenged women only and may be offensive and/or downright appalling to younger or male audiences.
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK !
Could it be that the odd physical, mental, emotional, and sexual experiences you have recently noticed are related to menopause, even if you feel like you can't possibly be old enough yet? They could be if you are in perimenopause - the time of hormonal fluctuation leading up to menopause. To put it bluntly, you know you are perimenopausal when:
• The only other viable alternatives are that you are pregnant, crazy, going through puberty again, and/or have early dementia.
• You've had times when you can't figure out the right amount to tip, get lost in your own neighborhood, or feel like you are an impostor in your own life.
• You can honestly use the saying, "not by the hair of my chinny chin chin."
• The phrase, "I laughed so hard J almost wet my pants" turns into, "I laughed so hard I wet my pants" - and you didn't laugh all that hard.
• You talk about your hairy a++hole, and you're not referring to your husband.
• You've been looking for a good way to work not-so-feminine itching and the proliferation of pubic hair in non-pubic places into polite conversation.
• You have, at least once, gotten so hot that you seriously considered completely stripping off every single piece of your clothing in a public place.
• Or, you have 1/2 the energy, but need 2-times the exercise to stay in shape; want sex 1/2 as much, just when it takes your guy 2-times as long; and have 1/2 the periods, but they are 2-times as bothersome.
About the Author
Sheryl Gurrentz and Cindy Singer are BFFs who aren't afraid to discuss the gory details of the mental and physical changes they began experiencing in their early 40's. They admit it took them a while to realize that what they were experiencing was perimenopause. When they couldn't find supportive, current. consistent information on what women experience before menopause, they decided to create the book they were seeking, Sheryl and Cindy also co-authored If Your Child is Bipolar, and Sheryl wrote The Guilt-Free Guide to Your New Life as a Mom, Both books are National Parenting Publications Gold Award winners, The authors each have a wonderful husband and two amazing kids They live in Denver, Colorado, were born in 1965, and simultaneously started experiencing occasional mental lapses, strange periods, and embarrassing facial hair growth (among other things). Chances are, they both will emerge from perimenopause at about the same time and enter into the glory that certainly must follow. They hope it will be soon!