To Joycina’s thinking in this moment in time, the pastor wanted a showdown. He had, it seemed evident to her, invited her to this evening gathering on false pretenses. He seemed to her to be hell-bent on invoking a perverted and patently non spiritual doctrine of might makes right. He intended, symbolically, a surgical removal her doubt with a “sword.” In addition to himself, there were present a score of formally "saved" church members and officers. These were to be his army of holy warriors, she thought, waging battle against a lone, lost but recalcitrant lamb.
Among his soldiers was Deacon Horshint, who was in his fifth marriage. Next to him stood Bernie Wall a painter and reformed arsonist. Perched nearby was Gloria Woodpate who occasionally bought “hot” goods from known thieves. At a far end of the saved conveners sat Lonnie Shike, who tendered shady certificates purported to assure free legal services when the need arose. Opposite Shike stood Doris Fryes. Doris once tried to sue a fast food restaurant and barely escaped conviction, herself, for making fraudulent claims. Calvin Skippy, occupying a back row of seats, had to date sired six illegitimate children. Two of them were with the equally “saved” Camille Warmly, not present in the meeting.
Essentially, it seemed to Joycina, the pastor had thrown down a gauntlet. He challenged her to give an answer. He wanted to know where she stood, what her intentions were. He wanted her to lay her cards on the table, so to speak, so as to reveal to everyone who—she or they—held the better “hand.” She felt in just the right mood and intellectual frame to play the “accused” in the pastor’s twenty-first century version of an Inquisition.
Joycina: “I guess the God overseeing this church just doesn’t tolerate a free thinking mind.”
Pastor Pos: “Just the contrary, Miss Joy, God created Man by design to have a free thinking mind.”
Joycina: “So, He gives us a free-thinking mind, but doesn’t tolerate our using it to search and question.”
Pastor Pos: “Just the opposite, really—it is through searching and questioning that we come to find and understand the spirit of God. The problem arises when we allow the Devil to guide our search.”
Joycina: “It just seems too convenient, Pastor, to say that any line of thinking different from church teachings is a devil’s product.”
Pastor Pos: “Not a devil—thee Devil, Miss Joy. Don’t you even acknowledge the existence of Satan anymore?”
Joycina: “The idea seems absurd to me now. It’s just part of the whole organized scheme to keep believers locked in. The whole idea of the Devil seems to me just a primitive answer to an age old question. The question being: why it is that people often behave badly?”
Pastor Pos: [pondering] “I have to ask you: have you been considering embracing a different faith lately?”
Joycina: “No. But even if I did, I’m sure I’d have questions about the various aspects of any other system of beliefs. That’s what religion is, you know, a system of beliefs—beliefs put in place to address the needs of people long ago.”
Pastor Pos: “Our religion consists of doctrines based on the Word of God. We have faith that the Word directs us along the path of righteousness. We have faith that the Word leads us to want salvation. We have faith that we can achieve salvation through God-ordained processes. And we have faith that with salvation we resurrect after earthly death and spend a blissful eternity, with God.”
Joycina: [giving an imagined dialogue] “‘So, you human beings, here’s a nice, shiny, new, free-mind for each of you. But don’t use it in questioning and doubt and exploration for new truth. Use it only for faith in what this group here says is right. Don’t listen to those other people over there who’re trying to get you to have faith in their thing. Just use this nice shiny new mind for having faith in what this group says.’”
Pastor Pos: “Miss Joy, you’re wading into deep waters. I would caution you….”
Joycina: [continuing the mock discourse] “‘—Oh and by the way, here’s an apple I don’t want you to eat. I know you like apples. I know you’re going to want this apple. And I know you’re going to eat this apple. But if and when you do, I’m going to punish you to where you’ll wish you’d never seen this apple. You’ll wish I had never put it before you in the first place. But I am putting it before you. And I dare you to eat it.
“‘Oh, and see that snake over there? I put him here as part of my plan for you. Try to ignore him if he starts talking. I already know he will, and I already know you can’t. But try it anyhow. You don’t see the sense in it? Well, that’s just too bad. …See ya’.’”
Pastor Pos: “I have to say, Joy, I’m glad Garvey and Pricilla aren’t here to witness this… performance of yours. And I have to ask you: If you feel that the Bible, particularly the Book of Genesis, is such a joke, to the point where you poke fun at God Himself, why do you attend church at all?”
Joycina: [at a loss for words] “Maybe…I….”
Pastor Pos: “It’s obvious that you’ve veered off course. I really think you should think about whether or not you really want to continue at all with us. Given the views you have, what benefit is the church to you at this point? With the attitude you present, what benefit are you to our mission? …I hope you find your way again, Joy, whatever course you decide on. I will continue to pray for you.
“But I give you this warning: Christ offers the only real path to peace. Without Him you are at the mercy of a bleak and cold world. This world is full of Satan’s temptations for us to put things—things that glitter and look good on the surface—before God. Faith in Christ is a protection against the world’s evil. Once you stray from it, you’re a lamb lost in a land of vicious wolves. So, Miss Joy, whatever you replace your faith with—and you’re going to replace it with something—I pray that it doesn’t destroy you…and damn your immortal soul.”
Rahim: “Joy, tell the pastor you…didn’t really mean it…the way it sounded. …Joy’s just having a bad day, Pastor. She didn’t mean it. …Tell him you didn’t mean it, Joy.”
Joycina: [expressionless] “I can’t--.”