Ghost In The Park

Sami Bell took his thin jacket from the corner of the couch, wrapped his laptop strap around his shoulder and backed out the door before locking both deadbolts. It was a tepid day in mid-May, a little warmer than he had expected, which was immediately evident by the change in smell.

It was that first sign, noticed by the senses, of life beginning to grow again. He tucked the jacket into his bag since it would only be needed for the breezy ride across the harbor. It was obvious it was milder during the night too, by his sense of sight, since the few homeless people in the area moved from sheltering in doorways to sleeping openly on the benches in Tompkinsville Park just outside his apartment door. The park was almost a block long, triangular in shape at the far end, with a large center area paved with six sided gray bricks. There were areas of grass and trees delineated by short green iron fencing and stretches of dark green colored chain and poles. The chain was possibly meant to signal keep off the grass, but that was never clear to the children in the area. None of the chained in areas had received early maintenance. There were scattered branches and blown leaves left from the winter.

It was a park overlooked by services, with many people fearing walking through it once the sun went down. As long as the sun was up, mothers would still bring their children to play, and others would enter. It was a rather strange mix of patrons. The homeless would make themselves scarce once the sun rose and the poorer locals from the area with nowhere to go, would line up on the stoops along the stores across from the park. There were even the occasional tourist couples that stumbled upon it in their explorative walks down from the ferry. While most in the neighborhood wished it were as friendly as when they celebrated St George Day, most knew that the area’s lack of affluence relegated it to second class services.

It was a short walk for Sami on Bay Street past the luxury apartments near the water. Always early, there would be no chance of missing the 7:30 am ferry. Seeing these buildings was repeatedly a little annoying to Sami. It had been his and Amber’s goal to move from their apartment to their own condo in one of those buildings. Those buildings had their own private roads, their own private park areas, away from everyone. The views of the harbor were the best on Staten Island, and it was because of those buildings that diverse stores began to open in the area. Sami was on track too. Only twenty-four years old, he had landed a respectable position in graphic design for a law firm in midtown. His work was exemplary and appreciated. It would just be a matter of time before he could afford the move. But none of that really mattered to him now.

Amber was a beautiful young girl, long layered blonde hair, and blue eyes that grabbed you and wouldn’t let you go. But her beauty came with a bit of a troubled anxious side. She grew up in an abusive home, which she’d always accepted as normal. Once she was old enough to see the abuse for what it was, she decided to run away from it. When Sami met her, she had been staying with the owners of the ‘Tompkins’ book, cafe, who had offered her shelter. The first day Sami and Amber met, she was working the counter, and he fell in love with her the moment he laid eyes on her. That was three years earlier, and within a year of them meeting, they married and rented the upstairs apartment in a yellow house next to the liquor store. Amber’s anxiety was slowly getting better with Sami, but there were still moments that taxed their relationship. Her anxieties would creep back in and she would close herself off from everyone, even Sami. There were times when she found it difficult to do much of anything. She would become emotional and lose her temper. Sami handled it the best he could, but near the end they almost broke up. When she died, he realized the drastic mistake he had almost made. He wondered what good was this new awareness when he had lost her anyway. It made him sick to think about it, but he hoped going back to work would help. And, yet, how does anyone recover from this deep a loss? He loved her so much. He had a deep need to do something, anything to take his mind off of things.

It seemed strange seeing the ferry terminal after the weeks away. The long ramp walkway on the plaza from Richmond Terrace to inside seemed to be further than he had remembered, and he felt a little jealous as a few skateboards whizzed past him, and then a girl f lashed by on a power glider. He thought he just might have to get one of those once they stopped bursting into flames. The geek in him was seriously considering it.

In the terminal there were two giant fish tanks for people’s amusement. As Sami stared at the fish, empathy kicked in, and he started to feel their sense of confinement. Such large fish in a large tank, but not nearly large enough for their size, it seemed cruel. There were announcements, but he didn’t pay attention any longer, and they had all become a blur. If prompted however, it was likely he could recite them by heart. The two large doors opened and the crowd shuff led in and down the ramps to the boat with a sense of urgency. He resisted the impulse to let out a moo sound, but elected to silently feel like one of the cattle entering the barn. Staying away from the front and the crowds today, he was sure to lose his favorite seat. Sami always found comfort in routine. This attribute of his was one of the things that made him love Amber so much; it made him thirst for the contrast of her free spirit.

The ferry docked right on time and he shuff led off with the others. It was a mindless walk down to the 1 train, a transfer to the express at Chambers, and on to Times Square. When he stepped out on to the corner of 42nd street and 7th avenue he looked around and up in awe as he did so many times before.

Sami reached his office building on 6th avenue and 47th and walked past the usual guards with an invisible weight stretching high up to the top of the grand building entrance on his shoulders. He muttered good morning and pressed his badge to the sensor for the gate to open to the elevator banks and walked all the way to the last bank to his right. He was hoping to avoid seeing anyone who did know about Amber for at least a short while, but as he turned the corner into the already open car, there were two co-workers from accounting.

Rosa looked sadly at him. “Sami, we are so sorry to hear about your wife.”

“Thanks, I appreciate your concern, and thank you for the flowers you sent to the service. Please tell Dennis too.”

“We will. It’s good to have you back. If you need anything, stop up.” The rest of the elevator ride up was in an awkward silence, with a few heavy breaths as if to say something, but then nothing. Sami nodded goodbye to his co-workers as he got off at the 36th floor and after grabbing coffee in the pantry, he went to his cubicle in a back area of the graphics workstations. No one else from his department had yet arrived. It was a relief. It would be the first time they would be seeing him since Amber’s service and he knew it would be awkward. There were photos of Amber on his board in direct view so he moved them to the side board. He just wanted this day over.