Manly Manners
Lifestyle & Modern Etiquette for the Young Man of the 21st Century
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"Move over, 'Miss Manners’—please! Manners is a man's job. And there is now a man reporting for duty," says Wayne James, former senator and author of Manly Manners: Lifestyle & Modern Etiquette for the Young Man of the 21st Century (Volume I). The book is elegant and sophisticated, but edgy; sexy and witty, yet meticulously researched and immensely informative; classic, though iconoclastic; spiritual at times, irreverent at other times; and as thought-provoking as it is shock-invoking. And top hats off to the bare-chested, Brazilian muscleboy on the book's cover, his primary purpose being to entice ordinary, 21st-century men into picking up—and reading—a book on manners. Manly Manners candidly answers questions and addresses topics that many grown men are too embarrassed to even broach—but wish they could. An entire chapter, for example, is devoted to the subject of sex; and discussed therein is everything from the etiquette associated with random, spontaneous sex to sex for the quasi-godly purpose of procreation, and from masturbation to how—and when—to pay a callgirl or callboy (where it is legal, of course!). The book also identifies, explores, and offers a solution for 21st-century man's dirty, little, subconscious fear—described by James as "The Masculine Obsolete”—the corollary to the female "problem that has no name" unveiled by Betty Friedan in her ground-breaking 1963 book, The Feminine Mystique. Manly Manners, then, from cover to cover, is unlike any other book on manners.
Should a glass of red wine be held one way, and a glass of white, another? How should a gentleman suggest an enema prior to engaging in anal sex? Should a man precede or follow a lady up a flight of stairs? Does the rule change when descending stairs? What are the new and emerging guidelines for planning a same-sex wedding? (What happens when the heir or the spare marries a same-sex peer? [Yet another cross for Old England to bear!] How should the husband of a baron or count be addressed? [Certainly not as "baroness" or "countess"!]. Is the husband of a president or governor a "First-Gentleman"? And are bridesmaids to be called groomsmaids?) Which is better for eating caviar: a silver spoon or a plastic one? What is the difference between vin santo and amarone? What should a young man do if he gets an erection during a professional massage? Roll over and play dead? And what distinguishes a bespoke suit from a made-to-measure one?
Such topics—and many more, some more mundane, others much more arcane—are addressed in the 11 chapters and over 800 pages of Manly Manners: Lifestyle & Modern Etiquette for the Young Man of the 21st Century. "My goal was to write a page-turner: a reference book that reads like a suspense novel, or like the script of a Discovery Channel documentary," James said. "Manly Manners also provides practical guidance: like how to deal with bullying; or how to conduct oneself when detained by a law enforcement officer; or what to expect when invited to dinner in Ethiopia or a funeral in China."
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About the Book
Manly Manners: Lifestyle & Modern Etiquette for the Young Man of the 21st Century is the first volume of a three-volume treatise on modern men’s manners by fashion designer, lawyer, former senator Wayne James. Elegant, sophisticated, and immensely informative—yet edgy, sexy, witty, and even irreverent at times—the trilogy is poised to become the definitive lifestyle guide for the modern man.
Is there a difference in the way one holds a glass of red wine versus a glass of white? How should a young man conduct himself in a gay sauna? What are the rules for “Shopping While Ethnic”? Ever heard of a tabarro? How does a gentleman correctly wear one? What should a young man do (and not do) if detained by law enforcement officers? And what’s the best way to survive prison—unraped? How should a gentleman comport himself when invited to coffee in Ethiopia or a funeral in Japan? Is there “gloryhole etiquette”? Who enters a revolving door first: The man or the woman? What about when entering and exiting restaurants? How should transgender people conduct themselves in gender-specific public restrooms? Ladies are taught how to sit, stand, and walk correctly. But what’s the comportment for their male counterparts? Is there a way to politely suggest an enema to a sex-partner before engaging in anal sex? And what are the new and emerging rules for planning a same-sex wedding? How should a corn-fed, red-blooded, young man apologize to his tellak for getting a raging erection while being massaged on the göbektasi? Roll over and play dead? When conducting business in China or in the Arab World, what are the faux pas that can kill a multi-million-dollar deal? Is there a difference between a blazer and a sport coat? And what’s the history of penny loafers or men’s underwear?
Such topics, and many more—some as mundane as how to correctly use a bidet, others as arcane as how to conduct oneself during an Audience with the pope—are addressed in the more than 800 pages of Manly Manners: Lifestyle & Modern Etiquette for the Young Man of the 21st Century. Manners is a man’s job; and Manly Manners is the new manual.
About the Author
St. Croix-born Wayne James, “The ‘Bad Boy’ of Good Manners,” is no stranger to the worlds of style, diplomacy, and courtesy. In March of 1987, while in his last semester of Georgetown University’s school of law, James presented his first collection of fashion at the Anita Shapolsky Gallery in New York’s SoHo. One week later, Bergdorf Goodman, arguably the world’s most discerning retailer of fashion, bought the exclusive rights to the collection. In May of that same year, James went on to earn his law degree; and within two months of graduating, his garments were being sold on New York’s famed Fifth Avenue. One year later, in 1988, James was touted by Washington Post fashion editor Nina Hyde as “one of the rising stars among young New York designers.” In 1989, in commemoration of the bi-centennial of Georgetown University, James was commissioned to design liturgical vestments for the Jesuit community, an honor which would lead to other prestigious commissions: Pope John Paul II; Queen Margrethe II of Denmark; and Diana, Princess of Wales, to list a few. In 1993, rather than following the designer tradition of introducing a fragrance, James drew instead upon his Caribbean heritage and introduced his line of Carnival Seasonings, which, in 2016, was rebranded as Wayne James’ Seasonings for Men and made available online at his website, www.ShopAtWayneJames.com . Today, the line boasts five all-natural blends: Original All-Purpose; Salt-Free; Seafood; Vegetarian; and Holiday/Game. (In 2017 James will unveil Celebration, his men’s fragrance, an intriguing, all-year cologne designed and manufactured for James in Grasse, France.) In 1999, James established the Homeward Bound Foundation, the organization that lowered the Middle Passage Monument onto the floor of the Atlantic Ocean, the 17-foot-wide, 12-foot-tall monument serving as a gravestone for the estimated millions of African people who perished en route to the New World on board slaving vessels between the 15th and 19th centuries. For his efforts with the Foundation, James was awarded the International Humanitarian Medal in Paris in 1999. In 2008, James was elected Senator of the United States Virgin Islands and served as Senate Liaison to the White House. (Wayne James is also no stranger to the world of controversy: In June of 2016, while in Modena, Italy, researching and writing volume three of the Manly Manners treatise, he was detained by Italian authorities acting on behalf of a request from the United States of America for alleged fiscal inconsistencies during his tenure as senator. James has denied all charges, and the matter is being resolved in a court of law. “Now, I have friends in high and low places,” James quipped, after finally being allowed to post bail, four months and four prisons after his arrest and being declared a “flight risk” by the American authorities). From January 2011 to November 2016, lawyer, fashion designer, historian, art collector, and author Wayne James has lived on three continents and the Caribbean Archipelago—South America, North America, Europe, and the Virgin Islands—devoting his full attention to the writing of the Manly Manners three-volume treatise: Manly Manners: Lifestyle & Modern Etiquette for the Young Man of the 21st Century [Volume I]; Manly Manners: The Cultivation of the Inner, Spiritual Gentleman [Volume II]; and Manly Manners: The Masculine Luxuries [Volume III].