The Calm before the Storm

For a good ten minutes, everything was okay. I was feeling fine. I was talking normally. I was so ready to get out of there. Then all of a sudden, my speech became a little bit slurred. I didn’t feel quite right. I started to writhe without control again. I thought, oh no, I thought they fixed me? I would later learn that the TPA, the life saving drug they had given me, had caused some hemorrhaging occur in the left side of my brain. I was posturing terribly and the ER staff rushed into the room again. This time, I started grunting, groaning, and foaming at the mouth. It was like I had rabies or something. I had no control over my entire body. It did whatever it wanted to do and I couldn’t stop it. Someone yelled, “She’s throwing up!” and leaned my head to the side. They wiped off my mouth as I continued to twist and turn. I threw up, and they turned my head to the side so I wouldn’t aspirate. This went on for about 10 minutes and for the second time that day, I thought, I am really going to die. I prepared myself the best I could, and then closed my eyes, deciding not to fight it anymore. At least if I died, I wouldn’t have to suffer.

Have you ever heard of people having out of body experiences before? Every time I would hear about it on a talk show or news special, I would think those people were crazy. But I kid you not, I felt myself leave my body and hover over the room. It was like I was looking down from the ceiling as a spirit looking down as they worked on my earthly body. Again, I prayed to God that I hadn’t gotten saved at the age of 5 for nothing and He would let me in to paradise. I was making the grunting noises, foaming at the mouth, but things were slowing down. It was like I was in slow motion. I thought, maybe if I just gave in, closed my eyes, and got ready for my eternal sleep, it would be easier than dealing with the situation at hand. Then I thought of my kids, my husband, my parents, and my sister. How would they do without me there? Would Curtis be able to handle the kids and the day-to-day struggle that being a parent entailed by himself? What would it be like for my parents to bury their oldest child? What were the odds that this would happen to Karen and me? We should be on a TV show. We could make a lot of money! The Stroke Sisters!

As all of this was going on, I kept hearing, “Delanie! Delanie!” I tried to ignore it, but it kept bugging me. Like I was trying to bat the sound away so I could just drift off. “Delanie!” Then I realized that it was two female members of the ER staff calling my name. Something told me, no not yet and as they were calling my name, I focused on their faces a little more. They were a little blurry at first, but gradually, I was able to focus in on them. Hey, I was not dead! I was back in my body again! I would still prostrate and make animal grunts every once in a while but not as bad as before. I thought, hey I can deal with this. At least I was alive.