Living Beyond Rainbows
by
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From Chapter 24, Bringing Dad Home:
Jeanne immediately called Paula and asked her if she'd put her and Dad up for a while. Paula agreed instantly, and by the time I came back home for lunch Monday, Jeanne and Dad had moved to Paula's house, leaving neither a note nor a word of goodbye. Jeanne neglected to take Dad's oxygen supply tank. It was kind of weird to walk into the house that had been a source of so much strain not too long ago, and then suddenly, all was quiet. I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from me. Later, I thanked Art for being so direct with Jeanne.
What happened after Dad and Jeanne moved to Paula and Jeff's house was a real eye-opener. My siblings, who'd been barely supportive of Art and me taking care of Dad, immediately started showering Paula with deliveries of gifts and flowers. My father's minister, who'd come to Art's house under the strain of being in a gay house, freely came to Paula's house and often brought communion. I cooked on Wednesdays and brought over meals for the four of them--Paula, Jeff, Jeanne, and Dad. I came to visit after work many times a week. Art, under the orders of Jeanne, wasn't allowed to visit. Of course, Art never wanted to run into Jeanne again. We discovered that Jeanne, in order to explain the sudden move to Paula's, told the family that Art and I were alcoholics, and so it was necessary for them to move.
Soon after Dad got situated at Paula's he asked me to bring Art to see him. He asked us both to come on Saturday, when Jeanne would be away. He wanted to talk to us in private. There in the back sunroom, he spoke to both of us with a clarity that only comes to a terminally ill person near their end.
He said to us, "I've never been treated as well as when I was at your house. Your meals were out of this world and fit for a king."
Then addressing Art, he said, "I've grown fond of you, and I hope we can remain friends in spite of what's happened with Jeanne. I know she can be a difficult pill to swallow."
Then he looked at me and said, "Dave, I am proud of you, and I respect you and your relationship with Art. It seems like you're always able to get things done, and I really admire that in you."
It took a big man to say what he said to us, and I was very close to tears because of his admission. It probably saved me years of therapy for him to finally accept me. It was important for Art to hear it too. It's unfortunate that it took the specter of death for Dad to get to this point.
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About the Book
Life doesn’t always follow the path that one expects it to. In this memoir, author David Marty narrates the story of his life’s path and the challenges he overcame on the journey. Living Beyond Rainbows presents a candid view of what it’s like to be a gay professional. It tells the emotional story of a gay man who confronts the realities of his parents’ death, his mid-life crisis, self-employment, diabetes, sexual addiction, and his HIV diagnosis in 2006. Through his narrative, Marty communicates the importance of self-esteem and the need for strong role models, providing personal examples of his enduring relationship and bond with Esther, a remarkable older woman who helps him make sense of his own destiny. Marty’s story puts a real face on AIDS and sexual addiction, demystifies HIV, and replaces fear and ignorance with honesty and information. Living Beyond Rainbows conveys the many lessons Marty has learned on his journey, but most importantly—that life is a gift.
About the Author
David Marty is a second-generation chiropractor. He earned a bachelor’s degree in international relations and has been a licensed chiropractor for over thirty years. Marty has worked in the HIV care community since the 1980s. He lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota, with his partner of twenty-three years and their dogs.