Mind Gone Astray
by
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This is a true story. Only the names of individuals and places have been changed. The setting is deliberately left vague in order to retain the story’s universal appeal. In today’s world, psychotic disorders of various kinds seem to be more rampant (one in four will suffer from some form of mental illness in his or her lifetime), or perhaps we have just recently begun to recognize them for what they truly are. Most of us have a loved one or a friend, or know of someone who suffers from a mental illness, yet few of us know how to respond to such a person or situation. In the past, individuals with schizophrenia, for example, were considered “crazy” and were institutionalized, usually for the rest of their lives. Thought disorders such as schizophrenia have been distorted by stories such as the early Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and by more recent ones such as One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Silence of the Lambs, to name only a few. Modern research into mental illness has lagged far behind that of research into physical illness. Over the past two decades, however, great strides have been made in both diagnosing and treating mental illness; public awareness has been heightened; and governments have begun to fund research and development for mental illnesses at an unprecedented rate. In spite of this, knowledge and understanding of mental illness (compared to that of physical illness) remains in the dark ages. The one constant defining characteristic of schizophrenia, which this story is about, is the profound feeling of incomprehensibility and inaccessibility that sufferers of the disease provoke in other people. Because of this, the stigma of “crazy” remains. To help eliminate this stigma is one of the main objectives in writing this book. The story deliberately contains circular, repetitious patterns because that’s how it happened. It is a common characteristic of many psychoses. Such is the nature of schizophrenia. Feel it. Feel the déjà vu, the frustration, the impatience, the helplessness, the desperate grasping for comprehension, the angst, the despair, the shattered hopes. But feel, too, the depth of faith and love, and above all, the hope that intermittently bursts forth like the first crocuses in spring. There are shafts of light piercing the darkness. The purpose of this story, then, is to help bring enlightenment of a schizophrenia-like psychosis to the common citizen so that the incomprehensible may gradually become comprehensible, so that labels such as “crazy” and “off her rocker” will disappear as understanding grows, and so that mental illness will come to be accepted as an illness not unlike a physical illness. It is a cry for awareness and understanding.
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About the Book
“Kallio offers the reader an inside look at a husband's exhaustive efforts to help his wife overcome a baffling atypical psychiatric illness that surfaces seemingly out of nowhere. Anyone who has a loved one with mental illness can relate to not only the shock, frustration and isolation that develop while Charles tries to understand and cope, but also to the love and commitment he demonstrates while caring for Kaija. Mind Gone Astray gives the reader a first hand account of how mental illness affects both patient and family.”
—Leila Hill, MA Clinical Psychology, LMHC
“Pain requires release, and thus Wayne Kallio writes. Yet how horrific must it be for one when her hurt cuts only inward like a fishhook. The barbs are ever there, and her fear to pull them out so great, that her demons burrow yet deeper. They split off on their own in the hope she can't feel them. They fester and boil then to randomly surface in bizarre eruptions.”
—Larry Warwaruk, Saskatchewan Author
When Charles Koivu, narrator of this story, entered his home after work nearly two years ago, he couldn’t locate his wife. He became worried when she said she had been in the bedroom hiding from the men in the black car. This was just the beginning of this couple’s journey into the world of mental illness—one that would test their forty-year marriage.
In Mind Gone Astray, Wayne Kallio tells the true story of this middle-class couple’s face-to-face battle with schizophrenia. Without fabrication or exaggeration, the story portrays Kaija's thoughts, her bizarre hallucinations, and her unpredictable behavior as she responds to the constant voices that have come to dominate her life. It traces the emotional impact on Charles, his struggle to comprehend the incomprehensible, and his helplessness in spite of his determination to assist his beloved spouse. His confusion, frustration, despair, hope, anger, newly acquired patience, and gradual acceptance are the roller-coaster ride of this story.
A cry for awareness and understanding, Mind Gone Astray provides a firsthand account of the ravages of mental illnesses and the challenges it brings to relationships. Schizophrenia has changed Charles and Kaija’s lives, but it hasn’t dampened their love for each other.
About the Author
Wayne Kallio grew up on a farm in the Qu’appelle Valley near Tantallon, Saskatchewan. He earned a bachelor’s and master’s degree in English from the University of Regina, SK. He has taught high school and college English in Canada and Phoenix, AZ, and English as a Second Language in Finland, and China. He currently teaches adult classes in Special Education. He is a member of the Canadian Mental Health Association, the Saskatchewan Schizophrenia Society, and is a family member presenter in the society's Partnership Program. He and his wife Mary Anne live in Outlook, Saskatchewan.