The F*ckhead Guide to Astrology

About the Book

The F*ckhead Guide to Astrology is the ultimate antidote for all you boring yuppies, neo-hipsters and punk wannabes who think there might be some validity to spirituality/western philosophy/astrology but are just too fed up with the WE-ARE-ONE, GOD-IS-LOVE, WE-ARE-ALL-GOD-N-WE-ARE-ALL-LOVE post-hippie claptrap still controlling the market, and all who wanna barf at the mention of L. Ron Hubbard (we feel you).In under 200 pages, underground author/Tourette's Syndrome survivor F*CKHEAD lovingly yet ruthlessly dissects the pop psychology dumping ground that is Astrology: signs are described, signs are decried, signs are dismantled, F*ckhead tells you how to pick up chicks (assuming, of course, you somehow know their signs to begin with, in which case you probably wouldn't need his help) and Tom Hanks is made fun of. HILARITY ENSUES. The F*ckhead Guide to Astrology is absolutely guaranteed to heal marriages, tame children, cure lepers, end hunger, establish world peace etc. (though we are still waiting on endorsement from Dr. Phil). Literarily, kinda bullshit but a helluva lot better than blowing your money on "How to Spot A Bastard By His Star Sign". So buy it now, suckers, 'cause if you keep standing in the New Age section the clerks are gonna stare at you.

About the Author

F*ckhead was born in Arbusto, Texas, sometime after the last GREAT War. Despite his oil-bearin? father sending him to the best universities?Oxford, Princeton, Salt Lake City School for Boys?exempting him from Vietnam with a stint as a stewardess and buying him several kickboxing stadiums (just before the craze reached its peak) he did not succeed in his chosen profession: world domination and tyranny. After finally kicking his crack habit he began studying Astrology in 1987 under the mistaken belief he was learning about the Astrodome. F*ckhead denies any incestuous inbreeding within his clan, despite the fact that his ten daughters are all named after his mother.