The Beginner's Guide to Chick Night™

Chick Night™ Rule #2: Chick Night™ Must Happen a Minimum of Once a Month (Pay attention to yourself at least as often as you pay attention to your utility bills.) This one is mandatory! You cannot let Chick Night get lost in the shuffle of your life. It must take place at least once a month. I cannot stress the importance of this point strongly enough. Start off gently. Arrange for one evening a month that is just for you. Don’t talk yourself out of doing it. Start putting yourself first. If you don’t … who will?! The logic behind planning your Chick Night schedule is twofold. First, these Chick Nights are meant to help you rediscover how critical time for yourself really is. If Chick Night happens only sporadically, or (even worse) as a one-shot deal, you will never reap the emotional and psychological (that’s shop talk for morale) benefits of Chick Night. The second (more practical) reason for booking Chick Night well in advance is that women do have busy schedules. Trying to coordinate with three or more women is often easier said than done. Our chapter has opted for Saturday Night Chick Night. However, your group should not limit yourselves to this one particular night of the week. There is no special significance to Saturday. It simply works best for us. When you and two or three or more of your girlfriends have formed your very own chapter of Chick Night, I highly recommend that you choose a logistical co-ordinator. She will call or e-mail all members ahead of time to book future Chick Nights well in advance. In our case, I am logistical co-ordinator. I take my role seriously. I have been known to organize the date and time of next month’s meeting while we were on our way home from this month’s Chick Night. The few times I wasn’t nearly this quick on the draw, my fellow Chicks have cheerfully picked up the slack. Once your group has engaged in several successful Chick Nights, it will become easier to set aside the time. However, in the event that an entire calendar month seems to be slipping away without the possibility of snagging even one evening that works for everyone in your group ... you can use this little-known provision in the Hanmer chapter of Chick Night regulations Section D, Subsection 3A, which clearly states the following: All authorized chapters of Chick Night have the right to reassign, reposition, or recategorize specific calendar dates for the purpose of celebrating Chick Night. In other words, ladies, don’t let something as simple as the arrival of a new calendar month interfere with your Chick Night fun. Simply exercise your creative thinking and turn April 3 into March 34. Laugh if you want (and I encourage you to laugh as often as you can!), but this scenario also provides a wonderful opportunity for you to create a new habit: doing something you would like to do. Contrary to popular misconception, going out for Chick Night once a month is not a selfish or rebellious act. It is simply about putting yourself back on the list and offering yourself the same consideration you offer everyone else. How often do you make every possible effort to be flexible and accommodating with your schedule so that someone else can do what he or she wants? I’m talking about rearranging your schedule so you can handle a client’s last-minute request or run an errand for a friend or family member or drive your kids to [fill in one of the three most frequent Mom’s Taxi destinations]. I am also referring to times when you have made alternative arrangements to get to work or wherever you needed to go so someone else could use your vehicle. Do you consider it selfish for someone to ask you for a ride? Is asking to borrow your car a selfish thing for a family member to do? If you don’t consider these selfish requests, then on some level you must acknowledge that doing them for people is an act of thoughtfulness on your part. Isn’t it about time you showed yourself the same thoughtfulness? Instead of automatically accepting that getting together with friends “isn’t going to work this month,” figure out a way that it will. Then make plans to go out. I’ve been doing all the talking about Rule #2. If you still aren’t quite convinced that you deserve Chick Night on a regular monthly basis, I will let my two cofounders have a whirl. What Chick Night™ Means to Me by Collette Caza Chick time allows me the opportunity to be completely real. In doing so, I have made a remarkable discovery. When I take time to hang around with vibrant, alive women who are not afraid to be themselves, I am able to feel free to be me. The process works pretty much like osmosis. As I share laughter and tears, Chick Night brings me closer to my friends. I know that through Chick time, I have found two bosom (pun intended) buddies. What surprised me is that I also found another one. I found the “me” that was hidden deep down inside, buried beneath a mountain of dirty laundry, expectations, and demands on my time. I also found out that I can belong to an elite group of individuals—none of whom I married or gave birth to. I can like who I am. I can be open and vulnerable in the company of other women. Time and time again, I discover that the problems, worries, and concerns I am facing are also being faced by my Chick friends. I have discovered that when you start to like who you are, it becomes easier to love others. After a night out with the Chicks, I come back a better person. Not only do I get the benefits, but so does my family. So, for all you men out there … hey, what are you doing reading this book? (Just kidding.) For all you men out there, encourage your wife or girlfriend to have her own Chick time at least once a month. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did. Now it’s Bonnie’s turn: What Chick Night™ Means to Me by Bonnie Paquette Chick Night is one of those special things in my life that I didn’t plan for, but now that it is part of my life, I wonder how I ever managed without it! I was introduced to Chick Night at a time when I really needed something just for me. I was a single mom and working full time. Special time set aside for me hardly existed. No, that’s a lie. Special time for me did not exist. On those extremely rare occasions that I actually had time for myself, I didn’t go anywhere. All of my extended family lives out of town. Most of my friends were married. I didn’t want to take precious time away from them (and their families), especially on weekends. Saturday nights were typically spent doing my ironing while watching a movie on TV. Then one day, out of the blue (or so it seemed at the time), the first Chick Night was hatched. Before I knew it, Chick Night was a monthly Saturday routine. It gave me something to look forward to. It gave me a special outing. It got me out of the house. It became a gift I gave to myself. Guess what?! My ironing still manages to get done! Let me just add a small tip: nothing you own that can be thrown into your dryer (along with a clean, damp washcloth) for five minutes ever needs to get ironed again. Ironing, shmironing! Women never seem to forget the jobs still waiting for them on the home front. I’m really hoping that this book will help you start remembering to put yourself ahead of errands, floors, dishes, and ironing.